personal
My sense of humor has been described as "eccentric," "evil," and "dark." My take is that I find a lot of different things to be quite funny. I have no shame when it comes to laughing at jokes of all kinds: I am an equal-opportunity jokester.   That being said, here are the things you can find in this part of my site:   .signature • overheard • 0-$#!+ • user types • random stuff • archive •	laugh
.signature
	Famous last words...
I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. I'm all out of bubblegum.	flieghund
Where am I going, and why am I in a handbasket?	?
Death is life's way of letting you know you've been fired.	?
A computer without a Microsoft Operating System is like a dog without bricks tied to its head.	Spazmoid
If OS were buildings, then the first woodpecker to come around would erase 95% of civilization.	Ventilator
The rumor that I have no coherent train of thought is completely and totally -- what was I saying again?	zztzed
This is not a drill. It's more of a screwdriver, or possibly a pair of pliers, of maybe perhaps a hammer, but definitely not a drill.	?
Programmers are busy writing the next best idiot proof software. The universe, in the meantine, is busy making the next best idiot. The universe is winning.	jailbrekr2
If I had wanted your website to make noise I would have licked my finger and rubbed it across the monitor.	istartedi
UNIX? They're probably not even circumcised. Savages.	BigBlockMopar
Working with Unix is like wrestling with a worthy opponent. Working with Windows is like attacking a small whiney child who's carrying a .38	FyreFiend
Failure is not an option. It's bundled with the software. -- local billboard	DesiredUsername
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.	sharkey
WWJD? JWRTFM!!!	Ranger Rick
I used to hate computers, but then the server went down on me.	kinnunen
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.	Christopher B. Brown
Common side effects included stroke, ugliness, myocardial infarction, itchy itchy rash, and death.	bokane
[what we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it]	Eil
Kaa's Law: In any sufficiently large group of people most are idiots.	Kaa
Likes: Boats and CNN. Plan: Grab dinghy and slip into Willow Bay.	FrankDrebin
All editorial writers ever do is come down from the hill after the battle is over and shoot the wounded.	Cadre
Remember that 50% of people are even dumber than the average.	Iamthefallen
It take 9 months to bear a child, no matter how many women you assign to the job.	Hal-9001
Hand me that airplane glue and I'll tell you another story.	Frank Sullivan
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.	xchino
The world is run by idiots because they're more efficient than hamsters.	Zathrus
overheard
Eventually the revolutionaries become the established culture, and then what will they do?	Linus Torvalds
My trick is usually just to start throwing CSS at the problem until the problem becomes uglier and harier [sic], then I play quake.	David Hand
If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set Man on Fire.	David Hand
When a twit like you starts defending M$ the question I always want to ask is "If they're not a pack of $h!ts why do they bribe, threaten, steal and lie? Do you think it's some sort of hobby?"	nagora
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.	Matt Groening
But, Microsoft doesn't have public relations people: it has public opinion management people. Microsoft has never had any relation with the public (unless you define "relation" in the same way as used in this example: "The larger of the two prisoners had relations with the smaller").	wowbagger
danceswithcrows: "My Eyeballs Hurt, My Windows Install is Flaky, and I Don't Love Jesus"   MrAcheson: "Don't worry man he still loves you. :)"   xdroop: "...and he needs money."	danceswithcrows
Can't we all just get a long? Or a 16-bit int at least?	wass
The Six Phases of a Project: (1) Enthusiasm (2) Disillusionment (3) Panic (4) Search for the Guilty (5) Punishment of the Innocent (6) Praise for non-participants	?
If you're still using Netscape 4... well... popup ads should be bliss for you since you obviously like pain.	Chester K
Fatal0E: "Just when I thought that I knew the difference between a Service Pack, Security Rollup Patch and a cumulative Hot Fix they go and release a Security Bulletin like this one."   Chundra: "Ok it's easy:   "Service Packs are the small, 6-8oz cups with the foil tops. They usually contain yogurt or pudding.   "Rollup Patches are dried fruit puree attached to thin plastic wrap. You tear the fruit substance off the plastic before eating.   "Hot Fixes are the things you remove from the plastic bag and put in the microwave. They usually consist of some sort of bread substance with a meaty and/or cheesy filling.   "Hope that clears things up."	Fatal0E & Chundra
I for one appreciate Microsoft's up-front attitude by them including a separate folder for My Viruses and another one for My Exploits.	Master Bait
random stuff
	Humorous diddies...
Nathan Hale, n. A hacker term for an astersik... "I regret that I have only one asterisk for my country!"	Jargon File 4.2.2 (2000-0820)
Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bullshit before.	Buy the Button at Think Geek
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